it's different when you're in college, you know?
these random acts of violence.
because I just can't imagine it happening to me...yet i find myself in the perfect location. and i wonder what i would do with my family across the country. and i wonder what would set someone off like that.
why would you kill someone you didnt know? are you that tortured by life? i wont pretend to think that "if only someone would have reached out to him, things would have been different." because i'm not sure it would have.
i understand wanting to die. i really do. but taking someone who wants to live with you? i dont understand that.
i understand just wanting to escape the pain. i really do. but it goes away. i promise.
and when it goes away, it will help. it will help you be happier than you ever imagined. it will help you appreciate everything you never noticed. and most of all it will make you a better person. because i am better than i ever was before.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
to whom it may concern: i have this fear of letting you know i care.
dear [insert name here],
i am a chicken. a wimp. a pussy. call it what you want. but i have this raging, unwanted inhibition when it comes to telling people how i feel. maybe its a fear of rejection...or dissagreement...or even a single unpleasant thought.
and the more i like you (any person in general), the harder it is. the more inhibited i become. i start to conteplate every breath i take around you. unless you tell me you're into me. and i know it's a lot to ask considering it is likely i wont even reciprocate when you do.
so here i am. asking you. would you like to go on a date? i think i might like you.
I'M INTERESTED.
and just to give you a little incentive, when i really like someone, i swear i am the greatest girlfriend ever. great. and just as horny as you are.
will you reciprocate? all you have to do is tell me how you feel. you dont have to ask me to do things constantly. or be sweet.
please don't be sweet. tell me the truth. i'd prefer "i really like you. plus you're hot" over "you're so beautiful, you're perfect" anyday. because i am not perfect. and just because you say i am beautiful, doesnt me you really like me for me. because at some point, personality always overrides beauty. because "you're so beautiful" does not negate "i think you're really annoying."
so here you have it. my part apology, part confession, part asking you out, part explanation.
-whit
ps i will not tell you i love you. and i dont want to hear it from you either. that would take a few months if not years.
i am a chicken. a wimp. a pussy. call it what you want. but i have this raging, unwanted inhibition when it comes to telling people how i feel. maybe its a fear of rejection...or dissagreement...or even a single unpleasant thought.
and the more i like you (any person in general), the harder it is. the more inhibited i become. i start to conteplate every breath i take around you. unless you tell me you're into me. and i know it's a lot to ask considering it is likely i wont even reciprocate when you do.
so here i am. asking you. would you like to go on a date? i think i might like you.
I'M INTERESTED.
and just to give you a little incentive, when i really like someone, i swear i am the greatest girlfriend ever. great. and just as horny as you are.
will you reciprocate? all you have to do is tell me how you feel. you dont have to ask me to do things constantly. or be sweet.
please don't be sweet. tell me the truth. i'd prefer "i really like you. plus you're hot" over "you're so beautiful, you're perfect" anyday. because i am not perfect. and just because you say i am beautiful, doesnt me you really like me for me. because at some point, personality always overrides beauty. because "you're so beautiful" does not negate "i think you're really annoying."
so here you have it. my part apology, part confession, part asking you out, part explanation.
-whit
ps i will not tell you i love you. and i dont want to hear it from you either. that would take a few months if not years.
Monday, February 4, 2008
but i'd rather waste time and stay up late than be productive.
TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:
1. i really hate that you waited till now to need me like i needed you.
2. i like you. as a friend. but if you wanted more i would be there in a heartbeat. and i hate it.
3. i dont like to be around you. actually i avoid it. and i dont know why.
4. i know i use you. but you're so easy to be around.
5. i have confidence around you because i know i've got you tied around my little finger.
6. i love you more than my life. my life. i mean it.
7. we get along so well it's crazy. and i really think you are the best roommate ever and i hope we're friends for life. but telling each other that kind of stuff isnt really our style. and thats how i like it.
8. SHUT THE TOILET LID!
9.I have so much respect for you for doing what you did. what i couldnt.
10. i'm glad your here to listen to me. and even though we dont talk on the phone that much, i get way more out of our friendship than any other. picture yourself two or three years ago. did you ever envision the amazing phenomenon that is our friendship? neither did i.
NINE things about yourself:
1. i have no emotions. and that seperates me from my gender.
2. and sometimes i wish i would.
3. the ONLY thing i will judge you for is the way you treat others.
4. otherwise i am the most liberal person around. sex, drugs, and rock and roll. do your thing. i dont mind.
5. i get annoyed way too easily by boys who try to court me. play hard to get. then i'll want some.
6. not sure why, but if you play the hard ass that is completely wrong for me, i'll fall in an instant.
7. sometimes i like to be treated like a piece of meat. enough said.
8. along with the emotions, i missed out on the flirting gene too.
9. i love college. more than life itself.
EIGHT turn-ons:
1. sneaking a kiss somewhere unexpected.
2. muscles. i dont deny my shallowness.
3. the guy everyone likes.
4. height. the taller the better.
5. being funny.
6. like i said. being manhandled.
7. smart. you HAVE to be intelligent. good thing i go to carnegie mellon. where i have the privilage of being the dumbest shit here.
8. people person. to make up for my lack social skills.
SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1.you, and your stupid attempts to get me back. after you were an ass for so many years.
2. how great my roommate is.
3. my lack of emotion.
4. you, unfortunantly.
5. concern about my once-great, now-terrible memory and worry that i will forget to do something.
6. nothing at all.
7. wondering if i'll ever feel the way i felt for you, except for someone else, ever again.
SIX things you wish you never did:
1. let you get away with being cheap.
2. made the decision that kept you from experiencing the world.
3. this is hard
4. because i
5. don't have
6. regrets
FIVE turn offs:
1. bad breathe
2. ignorance
3. people who are mean to others.
4. selfishness
5. scrawniness.
FOUR things you like:
1. chocolate and all of its relatives.
2. having friends. and being able to say hi to someone as i walk to class.
3. acceptance of others.
4. perfect days that aren't too hot or too cold. all you need is a light jacket. and there is a slight breeze. and the sun is beaming down. and your skin feels warm. and for once, you don't need anyone. because you're infinite.
THREE smiley faces [emoticons] that describe your life:
1. :)
2. :D
3. >:-(
TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. fall in love again with someone who would do anything for me.
2. tell everyone i care about how much they mean to me.
ONE confession:
1. my confession? i am too pussy to confess a damn thing. damn stuborn cement veins.
1. i really hate that you waited till now to need me like i needed you.
2. i like you. as a friend. but if you wanted more i would be there in a heartbeat. and i hate it.
3. i dont like to be around you. actually i avoid it. and i dont know why.
4. i know i use you. but you're so easy to be around.
5. i have confidence around you because i know i've got you tied around my little finger.
6. i love you more than my life. my life. i mean it.
7. we get along so well it's crazy. and i really think you are the best roommate ever and i hope we're friends for life. but telling each other that kind of stuff isnt really our style. and thats how i like it.
8. SHUT THE TOILET LID!
9.I have so much respect for you for doing what you did. what i couldnt.
10. i'm glad your here to listen to me. and even though we dont talk on the phone that much, i get way more out of our friendship than any other. picture yourself two or three years ago. did you ever envision the amazing phenomenon that is our friendship? neither did i.
NINE things about yourself:
1. i have no emotions. and that seperates me from my gender.
2. and sometimes i wish i would.
3. the ONLY thing i will judge you for is the way you treat others.
4. otherwise i am the most liberal person around. sex, drugs, and rock and roll. do your thing. i dont mind.
5. i get annoyed way too easily by boys who try to court me. play hard to get. then i'll want some.
6. not sure why, but if you play the hard ass that is completely wrong for me, i'll fall in an instant.
7. sometimes i like to be treated like a piece of meat. enough said.
8. along with the emotions, i missed out on the flirting gene too.
9. i love college. more than life itself.
EIGHT turn-ons:
1. sneaking a kiss somewhere unexpected.
2. muscles. i dont deny my shallowness.
3. the guy everyone likes.
4. height. the taller the better.
5. being funny.
6. like i said. being manhandled.
7. smart. you HAVE to be intelligent. good thing i go to carnegie mellon. where i have the privilage of being the dumbest shit here.
8. people person. to make up for my lack social skills.
SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1.you, and your stupid attempts to get me back. after you were an ass for so many years.
2. how great my roommate is.
3. my lack of emotion.
4. you, unfortunantly.
5. concern about my once-great, now-terrible memory and worry that i will forget to do something.
6. nothing at all.
7. wondering if i'll ever feel the way i felt for you, except for someone else, ever again.
SIX things you wish you never did:
1. let you get away with being cheap.
2. made the decision that kept you from experiencing the world.
3. this is hard
4. because i
5. don't have
6. regrets
FIVE turn offs:
1. bad breathe
2. ignorance
3. people who are mean to others.
4. selfishness
5. scrawniness.
FOUR things you like:
1. chocolate and all of its relatives.
2. having friends. and being able to say hi to someone as i walk to class.
3. acceptance of others.
4. perfect days that aren't too hot or too cold. all you need is a light jacket. and there is a slight breeze. and the sun is beaming down. and your skin feels warm. and for once, you don't need anyone. because you're infinite.
THREE smiley faces [emoticons] that describe your life:
1. :)
2. :D
3. >:-(
TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. fall in love again with someone who would do anything for me.
2. tell everyone i care about how much they mean to me.
ONE confession:
1. my confession? i am too pussy to confess a damn thing. damn stuborn cement veins.
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