stalker feed.

i went to your page to tell you about the bumper sticker i had found that would make us both laugh on the inside. but the damn bumper sticker app wasnt working. so i found myself there, yes, being a stalker, looking at your pictures. pictures other people had posted of you. and there they were: you with girl #1, you with more serious girl #2, oh, and then plenty with annoying miss #3.

and i remember why we were always just friends. i click home. leaving no evidence i was ever there.

here's the truth: i like you. i like you a lot. i actually truly have feelings for you. you are not the 5-minute fling with some older man. you are not the emotionless hook-up with the mysterious young lad. you are not the one i make-out with as we dance. in fact, i tried very hard to avoid that with you.

but i can never be with you. i will never try to be with you. i will never tell you how i feel. why? those pictures. you will always have girl #1 through infinity at your right arm. hanging on to your every word. and i cant flirt with you. because that is not what i want from you.

i want to be friends. and friends alone. we dont talk about the serious stuff. politics. life. whether or not we really exist.

we are starting to. talk more. about things like love. and emotions. and feelings. and you want me to share mine to you. you keep prying. and i think you want me to tell you. but i can't. i cannot get up the courage to compete with girl #1 through infinity. i am not "flirtacious and cute" (yes, with a 'c').

i dont want you. you are bad for me. and why now? have you already gone through all the other girls?

i'd rather cringe as you tell me your girl troubles for a million years. than try this out. this you and me. and have it not work out. we arent on the same page. WE ARENT EVEN IN THE SAME BOOK.

and you can council me all you want.

im mad at you for kissing me that night. did you think i expected that? i didnt. and believe me, contrary to what you might think, i didnt want it. have you used that move on many other girls? girls #1 through infinity? well, you like to deny #3, but i dont believe it.

more on this later.