i think there's a chance of the possibility that i may be broken.

so people cry.

i used to say only weak people cried. which was why i wouldnt.

but there were those times when you'd start crying for no apparent reason. or something completely ridiculous. or at the drop of a hat. or before someone can finish "what's wrong?" and that used to happen to me. i didnt get it. i didnt like it.

and then there was that thing. and that time when i cried my share of tears for the rest of my existence. because it was then that i was weak. and i didnt want anyone to see it. i couldnt be weak.

so i faked it. and got good at it. too good.

and now i am starting to think my tearducts may be broken. whether i drained them of all of their tears or they've been so long out of use. i dont know. but they dont work anymore.

and i try. and sometimes i feel like crying might help the situation. or just be an emotional heimlick for the crap thats choking me up. but it wont work. and i'll think about bad things. and the accumulation of suckiness.

but i cant feel sorry for myself. maybe its because i've gained perspective. and maybe that's why i cant feel bad for you. or your situation.